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Home Who Were the Geniuses Who Came Up With That One?

Who Were the Geniuses Who Came Up With That One?

There was a time in the 80s when standup comedians were required by law to wear loud blazers and louder ties and to demand answers to life's unanswerable questions about senseless products, airline regulations and the other inconveniences of modern life. "Who were the geniuses who came up with that one?" was their demand.

The Republican Party, which has been a joke for almost as long as it has been a party, is in the hands of those same geniuses. Fresh off two defeats in presidential elections, they have come up with the plan of all plans to get back on top.

First, they will nuke their own grassroots by raising money to attack deviant Tea Party candidates and protect true conservatives who support amnesty, tax shelters and tax hikes. Considering that the Tea Party was responsible for the first Republican victories since 2004, spending money going after it is bound to attract voters and improve prospects for more victories in 2014.

Second, they will add 11 million Democratic voters to the rolls through amnesty for illegal aliens as part of a brilliant plan to stop being a national party and settle down to fighting pitched battles for local council seats. Even the geniuses behind the election polling and ORCA should be able to win a few those. And if they can't, then it'll be time to raise more money to keep down some of those pesky Tea Party types trying to run for school boards while saying politically incorrect things.

Fortunately there is a clear path to victory. All we have to do is convince the Party of Consultants that all is lost and that they should come out as Democrats now. If they do that, then the Democratic Party will be a useless ruin within a decade. If they don't do that, the Republican Party will have the same policies as the Democratic Party, except for the part where it wins elections.

The establishment wanted Romney in '12. And they got him. They assured us that he was the only electable candidate. And when he lost, they told us that he didn't fail, the country failed him. And if a campaign built on Staples couldn't catch fire, it must have been due to the descent of the country into a nation of takers.

And they have a plan for '16. They'll run an immigration friendly candidate like Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio to win the Latino vote. Sure, Rubio lost the non-Cuban Latino vote in Florida, and unless the entire population of Cuba gets imported to the United States and legalized between now and '16, he'll only win, at best, as much of the Latino vote as Bush did, or as Rick Perry did, which isn't enough to win an election, especially once you've legalized the 10 percent of Mexico that lives north of the Rio Grande. But after they blow that one, the geniuses will step up to the plate and blame the Tea Party for a loss by another of their perfect candidates because during the primaries Rubio or Bush was forced to disavow Amnesty II or Amnesty III.

The Republican Party of '12 looks a lot like the Democratic Party of '88. It's outdated and running on fumes. All its slogans are tired and its leaders seem completely out of touch. Even the most unfair attacks stick to it, because it has no momentum. It isn't going anywhere because it's enclosed in a shell of outdated ideas and tired figures from its past who prevent anyone from coming to the fore. That same state of affairs led to the unlikely candidacy of Bill Clinton among the Democrats, but assuming that an obscure southern governor will battle his way through the Republican primaries to reveal a talent for national politics may be hoping for too much. And if he did, the establishment would spend their cash reserves to crush him in favor of a reliable choice like Paul Tsongas.

It didn't have to be this way. The Tea Party gave the GOP a shot in the arm. Suddenly it was acting and thinking like a revolutionary party. There were ideas in the air, energy on the ground and anger coalescing into action. And then it all got shut down for four months of infomercials about Staples because the establishment had gotten what it wanted and decided to play it safe before the big game.

The Republican Party has no ideas. Its only ideas involve deciding which liberal platform to "evolve" its way up to and how to sell that "evolution" to the base. And a lack of ideas comes from a lack of beliefs.

There comes a time in every struggle when a man wonders why he's doing this. And if the only answer is to win, then he isn't really fighting for anything. He's being competitive. Or he's fighting to make money. Or because it's all he knows. All three attributes describe the Republican Party now. Its leadership does not believe in anything. It believes in winning in that abstract corporate competitive way. It doesn't really know why it's fighting though, except that the other guys will make a mess.

A party without ideas borrows them from its enemies. The big idea that the Republican establishment has is to be more like the Democrats. They just can't decide which area they want to imitate them in the most. But the one thing they do know is that they need to get those annoying conservative ideas off the stage first.

Going after the Tea Party is sound strategy for the establishment, not from the standpoint of winning elections, but of keeping their jobs. If you lose, then you need someone to blame. The establishment is protecting its scalps by claiming the scalps of the reformers who might give them the boot. That's one way of winning a circular firing squad. And of losing all the elections that follow.

Without ideas or beliefs, the Republican Party stands for very little except being the Party of Staples, and while Staples seems like a very nice store, it's not really enough to base a whole country on. If the United States is to be reduced to a superstore full of office supplies, then America is no more exceptional than a stack of writing paper, four rulers and some office furniture shoddily made in a factory in some polluted Chinese megalopolis.

As the Staples Party, the Republicans are interested in importing more cheap labor into the country. It may not be good for the country, but it is good for the people who sign their checks and that's good enough. And if Amnesty destroys the Republican Party, then they'll find someone else to make their checks out to. Influence can always be bought, even in totalitarian countries, ethics and ideas cannot.

The Republican Party is an organization at war with its base. The Republican leadership and its backers think big. Their base thinks small. That inability to think small, to echo the concerns of ordinary people lost two elections. Reagan and Bush won, in no small part, because they appeared to be part of the small world of ordinary people. They shared their culture and concerns. They gave signs of being able to think small, and though the media ridiculed them for it as buffoons and dopes, Bonzo and the Bushisms had the last laugh. But that sensibility never sank into the leadership.

The establishment has failed to come to terms with the fact that the GOP cannot be a party of urban liberals and has been the exact opposite of that for some time. It can't even be the party of wealthy people who live in liberal areas and agree with liberals on many things, except national defense and excessive regulation. The Republican Party can either become one with its base, or it can either try beating it off with a stick some more while waiting around for Meghan McCain to deliver the new hip conservative movement.

The Democratic Party knows who its base is. Its goal in office is to expand that base while shrinking its opposition. That is why it wants Amnesty. If the average illegal alien was likely to turn into a Republican voter, the entire Mexican border would have been irradiated and pop stars would be recording videos urging their fans to turn in any illegal aliens on their block. And that is because the Democrats may be evil, they may even be incompetent outside their conspiracy and campaign zones, but they aren't stupid.

The Republican Party has no interest in doing things like that. The very accusation will lead to a dozen rebuttals in the form of editorials, radio commentaries and skywriting efforts. Instead they will get behind Amnesty to show just how uncommitted it is to any base, except the Democratic base in the world's most elaborate suicide attempt.

A sane party would draw up a strategy by asking who its base is, what they need and how it can maximize their turnout. A party run by people who give lunatics a bad name, asks who the other party's base is and begins planning to win them over by drastically increasing their numbers while disenfranchising and disgusting its own base. The only reasonable explanation for this is that the Republican Party is animated by a fever dream of returning to the scene of its triumphs in the first half of the twentieth century when no one could be paid to vote for it twice.

What the GOP leadership fails to understand that a party without a base is a big empty hall. You can get the checks that will allow you to rent the space, you can order up a band and ask them to play a song, but if no one shows up, then you don't have a concert or a dance. All you have is an empty hall.

The Republican Party has spent so much time trying to win over swing voters that it has lost sight of the fact that it is presiding over an empty hall, a vast echoing space in which nothing is happening. The Tea Party may be the last hope of the GOP, its final chance to connect with a base, gain some fresh energy and ideas, and emerge in fighting shape in '14 and '16. And if it can't do that, then there's always room on the standup comedy circuit of the big empty hall.


  1. Anonymous4/2/13

    so who do you like in 2016? (besides michelle obama)

    -- spanky

  2. Gayle5/2/13

    As a conservative, I've given up on national politics. It's been corrupted beyond repair, by both parties.

    Conservatives - and all concerned Americans - need to turn their attention to "the several states" - those powers envisioned by the founders to offset an overweening central federal power, such as has happened today.

    The states are our last bastion of freedom.

    I would urge all conservatives to get involved in their state's politics. Join your state's (NOT THE NATIONAL) GOP, find tea-parties local to you (freedomworks is good for this) and work to strengthen your state against the coming Federal encroachment. Because make no mistake... it is coming.

    Nullification, states' rights... terms you'll hear more often in the days ahead. Get involved.

    A great organization for learning more: http://tenthamendmentcenter.com/

  3. George J.5/2/13

    Yeah, it's pretty bleak.

    Republicans are chasing ghosts - elusive mythical creatures that are believed to exist somewhere, who are oh so close to voting Republican, if it only wasn't for a policy tweak here, and a policy teak there, and a bit of a reversal of core values here and there.

    They ignore the fact that most people who vote Democrat will not vote Republican. Makes no difference what policy changes the Republican party makes, what Black/Latino/etc. candidates they run or even how badly the Democrats screw up. It's a secular religious issue, basically. Just like global warming and multiculturalism and diversity and all the other nitwit ideas that have been propagated into the mass media culture until they are the orthodoxy of the day.

    Run a black candidate? - Uncle Tom, race traitor.
    Change your stance to win over Democrat-leaning zombies, errr, voters? - Nice try, silly rabbit!! Can't out-Liberal a Liberal. (Daniel has a piece on exactly this)

    And in the process of trying to appease the spectre that is the Progressive, all you will do is alienate and lose the people who you should have focused on in the first place - Conservative Americans.

  4. Couldn't have said it better, although I tried many times. I even suggested that another revolution might be necessary but everyone kept insisting that Romney was the only one who could prevent another Obama term because he was electable and a vote for a more competent candidate was actually a vote for Obamination. I'm glad I live in Israel. You guys are in big trouble and I'm not even sure you realize how bad it is.

  5. Anonymous5/2/13

    When will it be seen and understood that Marco Rubio is not eligible to run for office such as president... Along with a copy of a [well-read and studied]Constitution, obtain the Federalist Papers and become conscientious students. The most effective prescription..

  6. I said from the beginning that it never made sense for the Left to Demonize the TEA Party. The Democrats owe their majority in the Senate, and the numbers they have in the Congress to the TEA Party. One of the TEA Party's first platforms and slogans was "Vote the BUMS Out!" They made a real conscious effort to get rid of incumbents that had been rotting in Federal offices for far too long, and in many places their efforts primaried out a lot of entrenched establishment Republicans, and opened the door for Establishment Democrats to win seats running against amateur politicians.

    Of course this ticked off the Establishment Republicans because their absolute power was threatened. This is a good thing in a Democratic society. Problem is, in some cases like the McCain Senatorial election they lost and became discouraged and turned their total focus on Obama.

    We need to either reinvigorate the effort to vote the bums out, learn from past mistakes, or we need to split off, leave the Establishment Rovian Republicans to die off slowly, and start our own party, or possibly join the Conservative Party USA that already is partly established.


  7. While Reince and Rove fight for the wheel of the hearse, the DNC hires young people to work "small" campaigns, pays them enough to live on, and creates jobs and endless loyalty.

    The RNC has NEVER invested in the future. Ever. It's never put money on the street, in the schools, in the neighborhoods. #ItsDeadJim

  8. A fine drawing and quartering of the Republicans and their "no win" strategy and their targeting the Tea Party for termination. It reminded me of the cautionary note to Mr. Phelps of "Mission Impossible" -- Should any of your party be killed or captured, we will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Spiffing. Mr. Phelps should've asked himself: Then why are we doing this?

  9. Joan, very true. The GOP does not work with people.

  10. We're All Criminals Now5/2/13

    Democrats are the party of the enemy;
    Republicans are the party of traitors.

    Reality is Racist.

  11. Anonymous5/2/13

    Bravo Sir!

  12. Tex Taylor5/2/13


    Excellent article and I agree with what you wrote. But my comment takes it a step farther and Gayle above touched on this subject.

    At present, the Tea Party by itself cannot win a nation wide office. I am no official Tea Party member but they still seem to be close to my wishes - therefore, I'll consider myself a member by default.

    Contrary to Karl Rove's belief, I think the Tea Party will win the day, one day. Not just the Republican Party, but the nation. However, perhaps not for the same reasons many here do.

    This nation is going to see some very dark days ahead, and no matter how the media spins, no matter how many sycophants for Obama step up to the mic and say it is George Bush's fault, no matter how much the propaganda is sung, there will be no hiding a financial collapse which is imminent.

    That America is greatly deceived as evident by this last election is still no reason to market like the Democratic Party. Having no principles, standards, or truth, dependent upon spin is not a long-term winning formula and certainly no way to run a country.

    I would suggest the Tea Party focus at present at the local level. Because when the tsunami comes, these millions of rubes are going to get an epiphany. And many will be looking for someone with principles, standards, and truth.

    Patience is a virtue and the Tea Party's day will come, with or without Karl Rove and Co.

    1. The Tea Party's Day will never come. What the Tea Party represents is the last act of the white race in the USA. Have you seen the age of those whites at a Tea Party meeting? Old and feeble describes those attending.
      Whites are not reproducing. The Republicans want to "Amnesty" 10 million Mexicans and increase "Legal Immigration" from 100 thousand per month to 200 thousand per month and virtually none of them will be white. The Republicans also want to open the country's intellectual jobs to more Asian immigrants in both the universities and industry.
      Yes, a day of reckoning is close. Unfortunately its coming will merely mark the end of white America similar to what now exists in South Africa where whites are being slowly killed off or driven out.
      The question remains: will there be a second act for whites?

      Dan Kurt

  13. Anonymous5/2/13

    Crickets and tumble weeds on this. I have no idea what is going on in American politics. I don't want to get involved in any particular good American organization. Organizations scare me. I've seen enough of it offline to be almost utterly turned off by it. I think that pretty applies to all political parties and manufactured "grassroots" political parties.

    I'd much rather be a word of mouth sort of good American.

    Keliata, leery of political organizations of all types:(

  14. elaine6/2/13

    Mr. Rove... that's why you're considered some kind of evil genius. Only you could think that cannibalizing and marginalizing your base and knifing them in the back will somehow help you and your establishment buddies win elections. Because heaven forbid you have the "wrong" kind of people vote for your precious candidates. So, yeah... how about no one voting for them?


    If anyone has any doubts that the GOP establishment and the democrats are on the same side, I think they've been utterly refuted now.

    So let's recap: you and I are crazy, because we believe in "extreme" concepts like not spending more than you take in and personal liberty and other scary stuff like that; but Mr. Rove and his ilk are completely "moderate" because they believe in...um... er... um... well,... nothing, really. They don't even believe in winning elections if it means having to share the spotlight with a bunch of redneck, "domestic terrorist," tea party extremists.

    How about this idea? How about we form our own little party which stands in stark contrast with what both the democrats AND the establishment GOP and see which one the masses support, shall we?

  15. Anonymous6/2/13

    "Mr. Rove and his ilk are completely "moderate" because they believe in...um... er... um... well,... nothing, really"

    Quite true Elaine. In fact I think that might be a small part of Netanyahu's inefftiveness in Israel. Not the chief call but certainly some of it.

    There's a time and a place to meet in the middle but there's also a time when people need and must break ties with the establishment.


  16. Anonymous6/2/13


  17. Karl Rove is a clown.

  18. msbiz7/2/13

    THANK YOU, AG...for the comment and suggestion regarding the Conservative Party. I have a loyal following of Patriots who, like me, have been seeking a "new home" for our energies, our money and our votes...this party may just fit the bill. I've been reading about them and especially their Board and, so far, like what I see. thank, again!

  19. Don't call it "amnesty". It's a GIFT.

    Real amnesty still respects the law. This mocks it.

  20. As I see it, it's basically pretty much about race.

    There's white men, and the white women married to them.

    And then there's everyone else, who resent whites, or men, or successful people, or straight people.

    When married working white men and their wives made up the overwhelming majority of the population, conservatism was powerful. But they made the fatal mistake of agreeing with white leftists to be "fair" and do things like expand the vote to women, give the vote to more children (under 21), ignore race in immigration, and give amnesties to brown illegals. That was the fatal error, made out of a sense of trying to do the right thing.

    And now the married, working white men and their wives are outnumbered by resentful groups that are demographically growing faster than they are, with no sign of that changing.

    So the Republican organization, which is made up of people who want to win elections, naturally is scrambling to find a way to appeal to more people than married working white men and their wives. You can't blame them...their motivation is power and money, not principle...same as the people who run the Democratic organization.

    So for us married working white men, there is no reason to vote for Republicans. We have to hunker down and wait until the hardship that is going to come from living in a brown, socialist country hardens enough of our kind to spark a revolution. Meanwhile, speed it along by not voting Republican. Since we can no longer win elections - our country having been stolen from us - don't legitimize them by participating in them. At this point, worse is better because it makes things bad faster for us.

  21. Gould K.L. Brownlee12/2/13

    Ha ha. Very nice analysis of the GOP. They have been infected by the Leftist pathology, and, therefore they have become mentally ill; totally unable to perceive reality. In fact the Leftist pathology forces the infected to actually define reality as the very opposite of true reality; cowardice is courage; sullen alienation is transcendent happiness; lies are truth; justified self defense is murder; evil is good; etc. As carriers of the Leftist pathology, all the Democrats can do now is lie with varying degrees of skill. I think Obonzo, in particular, is too stupid and childish to reliably lie. Biden and Gore resemble babbling street loonies.

    I've noticed that the "American Conservative" reflects the Leftist infection of the GOP. AmCon used to be a useful group of true conservatives. They weren't as good as Vdare or American Renaissance, but they were on our side. Now, except for being anti-war, AmCon is just as deluded and evil as The Nation or The National Review or The New York Times.

    Their redefining of conservatism so that it is indistinguishable from the lively, vibrant, diverse, Leftist pathology is deadly serious, but it reads just like The Onion to those who haven't been infected with politically-correct pathogens.

    In the past month The "AC" ran a story "celebrating" the hostile invasion and infestation of the U.S. by third-world savages and affirmative-action parasites because they might just some day vote antiwar. Good lord. I thought for sure this was just clumsy sarcasm, but no, they actually think our little brown and black brothers will save us from ourselves and that this is a marvelous development. Kumbaya.

    Another imbecile over there, a Leon Hadar, actually seems to think that our affirmative-action-parasite-in-chief, Obonzo, is a "Republican Realist." That is the raving of a madman. It would be hilarious if it wasn't such a disgusting lie and pitiful symptom of cowardice.

    Hadar has made a cowardly surrender to Leftist tyranny, but he doesn't have the honesty to admit it. He would have us believe he is still some kind of conservative. What he is, by definition, is mentally ill; unable to perceive or act on reality.

    The American Conservative has made The Onion redundant. The GOP has made itself redundant.

    Oh well. The Left has finally succeeded in destroying the U.S. economy, so the multicultural, affirmative-action parasites will no longer have a host to feed off of in the very near future. What will happen next? Who knows? Whatever happens, Whites will come out on top just as they always have.

  22. Everyone complains, but nobody proposes specific changes to law or regulations the base might want. Anybody? Bueller?


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