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The Millionaire Peacemakers of Ignorance

It seems to be a rule of nature. No sooner does some Jewish buisnessman make his first million, then even though his knowledge of Judaism extends only as far as not eating pork, which he eats anyway, he declares his dream of bringing peace to the middle-east.

In this month's stupendous outpouring of benevolence down upon the proliteriat, Steven Spielberg proclaimed his plan to bring Middle East peace by making a movie. No not 'Indiana Jones VI - The Quest for Arafat's Swiss Bank Accounts,' it's a movie that explains that fighting terrorism is really pointless. Had Spielberg made a movie about the Holocaust that featured Jews and Nazis realizing they're both stuck in a rut and need to make friends with each other instead of fighting, that would be the rough equivalent of Steven's new opus, Munich.

The irony that Munich is traditionally known for Prime Minister Chamberlain's craven appeasement of Nazism and that the Munich terrorists who killed the Jewish olympic atheletes were set free escapes Spielberg. As with all deep thinkers whose deep thinking ends at the border of liberal dogma, Spielberg comes up with a predictable scenario in which fighting terrorism is shown to be difficult and problematic and the only real solution is yes, peace. This Spielberg believes will finally save the Israelis from themselves. Mel Gibson wanted to convert everyone to Jesus, Steven wants to convert everyone to Oslo. Never mind that both are dead and discredited, a false god's worshippers never give up easily.

Now granted being forced to sit through Hook has touched off some wars in small African countries but Spielberg's last few movies have been mostly ignored. A.I. bombed at the box office. Minority Report was greeted with yawns. Catch Me If You Can has long since been forgotten. The Terminal bombed despite the presence of Tom Hanks. War of the Worlds was best known for its Scientology associations. The odds of anyone, let alone a nation caring about a Spielberg movie at this point are roughly the odds of Jesus coming back from the dead to appear in the next Indiana Jones movie. Now Spielberg's studio was sold to Paramount for a measley 1.6 billion dollars. After over a decade of striving, SKG Dreamworks has managed to sell for less than the world gross of any three Pixar films. Good luck bringing peace, Stevie.

But this largess isn't enough. Craig Newmark of Craig's List too emerges with a plan for Middle East peace. Craig's List is best known as a place to sell stolen goods, run various cons and for perverts to meet up with each other. Craig's plan for Middle East peace isn't held up by such petty things as knowledge of Judaism which he freely admits he doesn't have. He's not even too sure what Tikkun Olam, the unholy focal point of liberal Judaism, means. He's completely secular and lists Israel as being in asia. He compares the Bush administration to Stalin and from this well of brilliant sociopolitical knowledge, he decides it's 'incumbent on him to help achieve peace there.'

If only Craggie had decided to pitch in sooner. For decades the Israelis and Arabs were waiting for Craig Newmark who can barely spell Judaism on a good day, to come along and solve all their problems. In Craig's enlightened wisdom, the problem is ",more of perception than substance." This may be something like the perception that half the people who use Craig's List are registered sex offenders and the other half the retired widows of deceased Nigerian Generals looking for someone to deposit their money in a Swiss bank account.

According to Craig you see the problem is that both Israelis and Palestinians want peace but they haven't realized that the other side wants peace too. Now he believes, if there's a survey that shows both sides want peace; there'll be peace. Sometimes you wonder why Dot Com buisnesses go out of buisness and then sometimes you stop wondering.

Fortunate are the Jewish people. We no longer have prophets among us or Kohanim to bring our sacrifices or even large numbers of good people who will stand up for Israel and the Jews but we have no shortage of ignorant millionaire peacemakers whose only contribution to the Jewish people is to find ways to further undermine Israel's attempts at defending itself with moral relativism.


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