Home Satire Yes We Can
Home Satire Yes We Can

Yes We Can

(Unfortunately Sultan Knish is unable to post today. In his place we instead present this guest editorial from Presidential Candidate, Barack Obama)

Yes We Can Hope and Change

by Barack Obama

"For too long now
our foreign policy
the times
has been held back
by phony defeatism
I want to replace
our phony defeatism
with real defeatism wrapped
in phony optimism"

I'm really glad to have this chance to speak to you because of the great amount of misrepresentations that have been put out regarding my candidacy, particularly on this blog. I have been characterized as Muslim, which I am not. I have been characterized as opposed to Israel or supportive of terrorism, which I am not. But what gives me hope is that I understand why I am being attacked, because of hope.

A lot of people out there are afraid of hope. They are afraid of the idea that we can tackle obstacles and solve problems. They are too invested in saying, No we can't... to want to hear that, Yes We Can. But Yes We Can is exactly the answer I want to deliver tonight. Forget all the nabobs of negativity, the answer to all our problems is in these three simple words, Yes we can.

Right now many of you are concerned about rising oil prices and the established politicians say there's nothing we can do about rising oil prices. I say, Yes we can. We can do something about rising oil prices because we don't need oil to power our cars when we have hope. We don't need to address the energy crisis by changing our fuel but by changing our perspective and I say that the hope of this great nation can power cars better than fossil fuels ever can.

Some have branded my speeches as a collection of meaningless rhetoric filled with the words, Hope and Change. I say that it's time for them to change their perspective from hopelessness to hope and to believe in the hopeful power of change, again. They say that I have no real solutions to offer, I say that hope and change are the only real solutions we need.

Some people out there say that we can't resolve the War in Iraq. I say that, Yes We Can. All we have to do is surrender. Some negative people out there say that we can't surrender to terrorism. I say, Yes We Can.

For too long our foreign policy has been held back by phony defeatism. I want to replace our phony defeatism with real defeatism wrapped in phony optimism.

A lot of people say that we can't turn America from a Christian into a Muslim nation. I say, Yes We Can! And the way to do it is to hollow it out from within, just like with my candidacy.

"Some people out there say
hat we can't resolve the War in Iraq
I say that, Yes We Can. All we have to do is surrender
Some negative people out there say that
we can't surrender to terrorism

I say, Yes We Can."

A lot of people say that you can't bomb England until it implements Sharia. I say, Yes We Can! Because those are the very same people who say you can't throw acid in womens faces until they put on a Burqa and say you can't stone heretics for printing cartoons of Mohammed. But once again I say, Yes We Can!

And that, my stupid American friends, is the message I would like to leave you with tonight. I have spent enough time living in your country, watching your television and participating in your political contests to understand how you think. I have learned that you are too stupid to actually listen to what anyone says, only to the tone they say it in. So I say, Hope! and Change! and Yes We Can!

It would truly take an idiot to vote for me so I would once again like to emphasize that not voting for me proves you are a racist. It is truly time for this nation to leave behind its heritage of racism by electing a 1/4 black man for President who beat out an actual black man for his Senate seat. If you actually understood anything I said there, let me repeat again, Hope and Change. Also, Yes We Can!

And just because I am as Black as Senator Kerry is Jewish or Jay Leno is funny or Hillary Clinton is a woman, should not dissuade you from voting for me in order to appease your white guilt. Even though it was my Arab ancestors who sold those African slaves to you in the first place. Even though in the State Senate I neglected my African-American constituents and only got voted in because my white lawyers threw out the petitions of my opposing Black candidates. The important thing is, Hope and Change. Yes We Can!

So in closing when people say that they can't vote for me out of some misplaced sense of right and wrong, I would like to remind you of three words, Yes We Can!

P.S. Please don't expect me to actually pledge allegiance to your filthy country which I and my wife are properly disgusted by, just because I wish to be your President.

Allah Achbar.

Barack Hussein Obama


  1. Wow Barack, I can call you that can't I? I hope you change too.:)
    But you sold me..
    down the river..
    I really enjoyed the post
    and I hope you guest post more often

  2. Anonymous2/3/08


    You don't have to be a Jew to join Jews Against Obama.
    Why Jews Against Obama?

    The Jewish Task Force (JTF.org) is an organization of right wing Jews and righteous gentiles who follow the teachings of the late Rabbi Meir Kahane. Thus we are opposed to Israel surrendering land for “peace.” We are also opposed to Islamic terrorism, which we believe is an integral part of Islam.

    Unfortunately America has refused to win every single war she has fought after World War II. Our leaders have been more concerned about world opinion, sparing “innocent civilians” and “winning hearts and minds.” Israel has done the equivalent in her recent battle with Hezbollah in Lebanon.

    This refusal to win wars is all due to the pernicious influence of the Left, which has gained a major foothold in the Democrat party in the U.S., as well as the European Union and Israel. Therefore, JTF is also opposed to domestic fifth columnists who attempt to undermine America’s and Israel’s will to defend themselves and to properly fight their wars. Barack Hussein Obama is an example of a fifth columnist. We have started Jews Against Obama to expose him as being just that.

    Obama's father, Barack Hussein Obama Sr., was a Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and his step father was a Muslim from Indonesia.
    Obama’s childhood mentor was a communist.
    Obama attended Muslim Basuki School and a Catholic school in Indonesia and his religion was registered as Muslim in both schools. Despite this overwhelming evidence, Obama insists he was never a Muslim.
    Obama has promised that in his first year of office, he will invite Iranian terrorist dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to the White House in order improve relations and relax trade restrictions with Iran. This would certainly lead to the sale of advanced American technology, which would enable Iran to develop nuclear bombs much more quickly.
    Obama is a supporter of Kenyan Muslim Raila Odinga, who recently lost in that country’s election, and who wants to institute Islamic Sharia law as the law of that land. Raila claims to be Obama’s first cousin.
    Obama wants Muslim terrorists in Guantanamo to have access to the American legal system. Note that these Guantanamo attorneys [who represent these terrorists pro bono] are supporting Obama.
    Obama's foreign policy advisors from the Carter Administration are notoriously anti-Israel and antisemitic.
    A non-profit organization with Obama on its board gave money to the terrorist-supporting Arab American Action Network, which favors Israel's destruction and is completely against America enforcing any of her immigration laws.
    Obama helped raise money for Muslim terrorist refugee camps in the Middle East.
    Obama has been endorsed by communist Daniel Ortega (former head of the Weather Underground organization), communist Tom Hayden, Jesse Jackson, and Muslim racist and antisemite Louis Farrakhan.
    Obama's National Campaign Cochairman is congressman Jesse Jackson Jr., a notorious racist and antisemite.
    Obama's Pastor, who Obama claims is his mentor, traveled with Muslim racist and antisemite Louis Farrakhan to Libya in 1984 to visit Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi.
    These are only a few of many, many issues. Please join us in our fight against Barack Hussein Obama and help save America and Israel.

  3. Perfect satire and I fear exactly what Obama is doing...reeling people in until finally they're pledging alliance, rising their hands and saying Allah Achbar.

  4. No Steve, a President dedicated to the destruction of Israel would not be a good thing

    neither would putting the man behind the Green Belt strategy, responsible for the rise of Iran and Al Queda, in a foreign policy position at the White House be a good thing for anyone but a complete lunatic

  5. It simply means that I'm tired of seeing the same rants posted on every post and that I won't allow my blog to be used to promote someone who intends to wipe out millions of jews... regardless of the 'supposed' agenda of the promoter

    end of story

  6. Sultan, the King of Satire rules! Can we have one of Hitlery, too? *yo shamelessly begs*

  7. Excellent post, Sultan! Very clever!

    Barack HUSSEIN Obama, however, is not 1/4 black. He is 1/16th black; 3/8 Arab and 1/2 caucasian:

    See Kenneth Lamb's article:

    Barack Obama: Washington Post, Chicago Tribune investigations confirm autobiography lies; now asking: Is "African-American" a lie too?

    Barack HUSSEIN Obama needs to be 12.50% black to legally declare himself African-American.

    "That means that Mr. Obama is 50% Caucasian from his mother's side. He is 43.75% Arabic, and 6.25% African Negro from his father's side."

    "Mr. Obama is 50% Caucasian from his mother's side. He is 43.75% Arabic, and 6.25% African Negro from his father's side.
    His father was officially classified as "Arab-African" by the Kenyan government."

  8. My math is off above. It should be 1/16th black; 7/16th Arab and 1/2 caucasian.

  9. sure yo, gotta see if hillary drops out soon though or it's semi-wasted effort

    thank you for the additional information tesuvah

  10. Bravo, SK... you wouldn't be a mystery writer for Mad TV, by any chance?

  11. fraid not, but I've done some comedy writing

  12. B.Hussien Obama-The Anti-Christ "has spoken" and the weak will follow!

  13. You know, I never really listened to any of Obama's speeches or interviews until last night on Nightline. When Terry Moran asked him what he would do if a phone rang in the middle of the night bringing news of a catastrophe, he said something to the effect that nobody knows what they'll do until the crisis occurs.

    The whole thing sounded like a fly by the seat of our pants approach to national security! Is THIS is the guy that millions are swooning over??

  14. I was reading from worldtribune.com and the presidential candidate that polled as the greatest threat to American security was none other than Mr. Obama. Yes, even higher than Hillary! Brilliant satire SK. I do have one question: Do I laugh or am I supposed to cry? Hopefully the American people will not be fooled by such a flim-flam artist. Big Mac for Prez!

  15. Just wondering how many votes the muzlim would be getting if Oprah wasn't behind him.

    I've run across people who voted for him solely because of her.

  16. When Keith Ellison got elected into office his supporters shouted Alahu Akbar. This is only said whenever Muslims fight and kill the enemy. This should give us all the chills and realize who the real enemy is. Not Muslims but rather ISLAM!!!!!


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