Thursday, November 29, 2007
Mohammed the Stuffed Pig: Plush Be Upon Him
Following the news that in the highly progressive tyrannical genocidal regime of Sudan, a British teacher has been charged with blasphemy for allowing kids in her class to name a teddy bear Mohammed, it's pretty clear that Sudan is not happy with the idea of a Teddy Bear named Mohammed. That makes sense since there are no bears in the Quran, there are pigs though and so I generously give the people of Sudan their prophet in plush pig form.
That's right, it's Mohammed the Stuffed Pig PBUH (Plush Be Upon Him), a respectful tribute to Islam's greatest homicidal fake prophet. In many ways Prophet Mohammed Stuffed Pig Edition is a major improvement on the real thing.
While he is made out of plush and will be adored by children, he won't respond by trying to marry your 6 year old daughters because "Allah Told Him To". This makes him child-friendly, unlike the real Mohammed, who was the whole other kind of "Child Friendly" that you don't want around your kids.
Mohammed the Stuffed Pig may cost an arm and a leg but he won't try to chop off your arms and legs because you're all filthy infidels, unlike the real Mohammed. Also he won't raid and rob you, steal your goats or any of the other fun activities the real Mohammed was noted for.
It seems as if Muslims get so obsessively outraged over every imagined slight to their crazy made up religion because they haven't had enough people offending them on a regular basis. Being regularly offended requires either going murderously insane or developing a thick skin. Muslims have been making a good go at the former but aren't anywhere near the latter.
Perhaps offending them more on a regular basis will push them one way or another, either into a state of weary tolerance where the imagined sight of their diety's name in the swirls of a fast food's chain ice cream or a cartoon of their bearded prophet no longer sends them scrambling madly for their swords and detonators or into outright insanity in which Muslims wander the streets like zombie mobs roaring at everyone and trying to eat them alive. Either one would be a vast improvement over today.