You Have No Idea How Much You Have Helped Me

Dear Supporters,

In this election we set out to change the paradigms not only of what an election is but of what an election can be. Your grass roots have exemplified not only the best of this campaign but the best of America. Your work on my behalf has turned the web from the 'Internet' into the 'Obamanet', getting the word out to millions of ordinary Digg using Americans on my behalf.

There are too many of you to thank individually but there are some whose contributions are just too notable to ignore.

First of all to Jeff Pflegner, your Huffington Post articles backed by six years of experience as Personal Assistant to Gwyneth Paltrow continue to provide an informative source of knowledge and your coining the phrase "Jolf McHitler" to describe my opponent has provided a major boost for my campaign among Alex Jones listeners.

To "Zobama4Life", your obsessive submission of mainstream media stories on John McCain to Digg that had already been submitted, with names such as "JOHN MCCANE IS A LYING LIAR WHO WANTS TO BOMB IREAN" has really helped fuel the groundswell of my campaign. Continuing to do this even though you were banned twice while still getting them to the front page of Digg really demonstrates your commitment to my campaign. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

To Morgan Harcourt, your blogs on my official BarackObama site on our relationship with Israel, the Zionist plot behind 9/11, the real story behind Jews drinking the blood of babies as well as your other informative pieces have touched me more than I can express. In the absence of Jeremiah Wright, I consider you my Jeremiah Wright. And be sure to give a shout out for me to all your peeps in the National Vanguard and ZioWatch forums.

Then to the guy who photoshopped naked pictures of Sarah Palin, thank you, your assistance to my campaign has been truly invaluable. Also thank you to the guy who insists on posting 'Slut' in the comments for every story on her. You have no idea how much this is helping me with female voters.

To the guy who pretends to be a conservative and posts racist comments about me on every YouTube video, thank you. That is exactly the kind of out of the box thinking that my campaign really needs.

To the thousands of Hamas supporters who manned the phone banks, sent checks to me and entered chat rooms under names such as 'AvrageAmericanWoman03' and 'HakimAmerican' to try and encourage random people to vote for me by threatening them with beheading, thank you. Also your videos of pretending to behead McCain in effigy have given people another reason to vote for me.

Finally to the white guy who dresses up like Che while working behind the counter at Orange Julius and harangues customers to vote for me, thank you. Even though you work in a mostly black neighborhood, you've succeeded in persuading dozens of customers and passerby to instead vote for Carolyn McKinney, Ralph Nader, Bob Barr and cast write in votes for 'Fire that Che lookalike Mutha_____ who works behind the Orange Julius counter.' Thank you, your dedication to my campaign will not go unrewarded.

You have all done a great deal for me, more than I could have possibly expected. You have no idea how much you have helped me. I would like to leave you with one final message.

God damn you and god damn America

Sincerely,

Barack Obama