President announces Appease-A-Muslim-Day

USA Today

Jill Cavanaugh

In coordination with Islamic advisers and to celebrate the presence of Muslims in America, the President has signed into law the official commemoration of Appease-A-Muslim Day.

"Appease a Muslim Day," said the President, "is just our way of thanking our fellow Muslim-Americans for not having killed us in large numbers on our own soil over the last year. They've given us the great gift of peace of mind and now it's our turn to give back."

With the support of the Federal government and the Department of Appeasing Muslims, states and local municipalities will all be participating in Appease-A-Muslim Day. As a good citizen why aren't you participating too?

Authorized activities for the day include such fun things as;

1) Loudly proclaiming that Allah is the one true deity and that Mohammed is his prophet.

2) Boycotting Israel, Thailand, France, Denmark (for full list of nations being boycotted by Muslims please visit www.theummahwilldestroy.org)

3) Beat up anyone who isn't a Muslim until they accept Islam. Jews in particular. It's fun for the whole family.

Enjoy Appease-a-Muslim Day and try to come back alive.