Hamas and Fatah Finally Achieve an Enduring Truce

Gladness and cheering resounded throughout Ramallah on news that the ruling Hamas terrorist group and the ruling Fatah terrorist group had finally managed to reach an agreement that would result in a permanent and unbreakable truce. While former truces, included one tattooed on three camels, one signed at Mecca on fragments of the Kabaa and one printed on a Koran had utterly failed to hold, this truce is unlikely to be broken.

"We drew on our experiences with Israel to create a true and lasting truce," said Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, "whenever we signed a truce with Israel, we simply redefined the word 'truce' to mean killing people. Applying that negotiating experience to our current problem, I can now say that we have achieved a full and complete truce with Hamas and we do not foresee that this truce will end until they are defeated and annihilated."

For their part Hamas terrorists had already reinforced the true with three bombings and a drive by shooting of the former Minister of Security's Mercedes limousine.

Media correspondents were predictably thrilled by this truce glowingly reporting of the tremendous effort of peacemaking energy that had gone into achieving it. Reports of violence were noted sadly at the end of articles with commentaries suggesting these were aberrations, once again demonstrating the media's inability to grasp the subtleties of the local culture.

"Stupid CNN," said Ahmed Dahrad, a Fatah gunman who was engaged in firing on a Hamas office, "violence is truce. We engaging in truce now. Yesterday we have even bigger truce. Kill five Hamas men, eight children. Big big truce."

For their part the Israeli government has expressed its pleasure that the Palestinians were finally able to achieve the same political and diplomatic state with each other, that they had with Israel previously.

"We look forward to major progress in the Palestinian truce," said IDF spokeman, Elon Kaduri, "we will also be resupplying both sides with whatever equipment they require for the truce to be properly conducted, without interruption."

Delighted by the new truce Jimmy Carter has reported he will be flying to the region. He is not expected to return.