Mad Media and Jewish Dogs

Last week the BBC reported that a Jewish court in Jerusalem had ordered a dog be stoned to death. Shortly thereafter they modified the story slightly to say that the court had actually called animal control to have it taken away to the pound. As stories go, this is obviously a dog of another color. There is no word on whether the dog was sent off to keep company with the GPS Shark, that Egyptian media claimed had been trained by Israel to attack swimmers. But it wouldn't surprise me at all. Those Zionists are capable of anything.

There is a religion that has it out for dogs. Mohammed, the Prophet of Islam, ordered the killing of dogs because in his theology, an angel will not enter a house with a dog in it. Apparently they also prevent angels from entering taxis, because Muslim cabbies are leaving blind passengers stranded by their refusal to carry seeing eye dogs. It's a pity that so many angels are in need of a ride, that in London and Minneapolis, the blind are having trouble getting a cab.

But then the Islamic religion is such an elevated thing that its sanctity is so easily broken. As Old Mo is quoted as saying in a Hadith,  "When one of you prays...a dog, an ass, a pig, a Jew, a Magian, and a woman cut off his prayer... if they pass in front of him at a distance of over a stone's throw". Those of us who happen to be Jews, women or amateur Magians can take comfort in knowing that the next time a suicide bomber cries "Allah Akbar", we can cut off his transmission to his deity by the simple expedient of stepping in front of him.

Not that the media will touch the subject. There are dogs you stone and dogs you carefully avoid. Jewish dogs get stoned. Muslim dogs get a wide berth from the press.

In the New York Times, the repulsive Ethan Bronner finally got around to conceding that conditions in Gaza may be slightly better than previously advertised. Naturally the Times ran the piece, which begins with the construction of two luxury hotels, thousands of homes and a second shopping mall, under the headline, 'Building Boom in Gaza’s Ruins Belies Misery That Remains'.

For optimists the glass is half-full. For the New York Times, the glass is half-empty and it's Israel's fault. Sure luxury hotels may be going up and shopping malls may be playing Islamic approved elevator music-- but somewhere in Mudville, Gaza, there's bound to be misery, and count on Bronner and the New York Times to find it and bring it to you.

Sure entire Libyan dealerships worth of looted cars have been shipped to Gaza, by way of the new Egyptian democracy, and there are BMW's riding down the street, but the Times sadly quotes, “For the vast majority in Gaza, things are not improving."

Sadly this time around the Times was not able to find this vast majority. Perhaps they're off hanging out with the vast majority of Muslim moderates who abhor terrorism, approve of feminism and want to live in peace with the rest of the world. Or maybe they're trapped incommunicado in Gitmo. You never know.

Still the Times concludes, “Most people in Gaza remain forgotten.” How they can possibly be forgotten when every newspaper in the civilized world won't stop reporting on them? The Sudanese are forgotten. The West Paupans suffering under the brutal occupation of Obama's favorite Muslim democracy are forgotten. So are the Greek Cypriots. But then those groups are meant to be forgotten. The Gazans suffering with their BMW's and luxury malls are never out of sight long enough to be forgotten.

We are meant to forget the victims of Muslim terror, but a Muslim who gets a hangnail can expect a nationwide media profile and then a chance to testify in congress about Islamophobic nail clippers.

And the Gazans with their second story homes and luxury sedans who elected a terrorist regime with a theology so backward it makes voodoo look progressive, are the beneficiaries of so much international aid it would choke a camel. And on top of that they can expect a flotilla of Western leftists to steam to their aid with their thong sandals and fierce devotion to the right of oppressed Islamists to kill people they find religiously offensive without suffering any consequences for it.

The Terroristinian Muslim gangs who call themselves Palestinians are the unwanted houseguest on the couch of the world. They came, they crashed, then they refused to leave. With an entire UN agency dedicated to their welfare, billions in aid money and a media presence rivaling most rock stars-- the 50,000th Times article on them warns us once again that they remain forgotten.

Good Lord! Forgotten? How they can ever be forgotten when they never go away. When they never stop begging for handouts and killing people at the same time. When they suck in money and blood in equal proportions, and then invite photographers down to see the babies that they killed and then dug up for the cameras. Witness our suffering, but try not to take any pictures of us driving away in our BMW's to our newest hotel, La Plaza De Fraude.

Now the media is outraged because Israel has threatened reporters who hitch a ride on the flotilla to beautiful Hamastan with a ten year ban from covering the country. The Foreign Press Associated took a pinch of snuff, screwed in its best monocle and huffed that this, "sends a chilling message to the international media and raises serious questions about Israel's commitment to freedom of the press." As if being allowed to collaborate with terrorists, incite riots, fake photographs and lie, lie and then lie some more-- did not conclusively prove Israel's commitment to freedom of the press.

"Journalists covering a legitimate news event should be allowed to do their jobs without threats and intimidation," says the FPA. But it's only a news event because they're covering it. If they didn't cover it, it wouldn't even be taking place. The media creates news events through its coverage and then demands the right to cover the stories they manufacture. The flotilla is a step up from paying Muslim kids to throw rocks at Israeli soldiers, another 'legitimate news event", but it's not much of a step up.

Should reporters be allowed to try and illegally enter a country to aid terrorists under the guise of news coverage? Why not try and do it to Turkey. Because the Turks wouldn't just threaten a ten year ban. They would hand out a ten year jail sentence. So would the Russians, the Chinese or the Iranians. All of whom get better coverage than Israel does.

If Israel had any sense, it would have given Ethan Bronner, Karl Vick and the rest of the gang the boot, and let them compose their hate-filled scrawls from a hotel on Fifth Avenue. It wouldn't have made any difference in their writing. Seymour Hersh has been writing as a fictional novelist for the New Yorker for some time, while David Remnick pretends not to notice. And that portion of the reading public which still listens to NPR, finds New Yorker cartoons funny, and thinks CNN is too Pro-Israel could enjoy the latest Jewish Court Bites Dog story at half price.

Meanwhile the world's diplomats scurry around looking for a solution. At least in 1942, it was only one European country desperately seeking a solution to the Jewish problem. Now all of them are. With a worldwide economic crisis, revolutions tearing apart the Arab Muslim world like tissue paper, and two dozen pop stars headed to rehab in a convoy at the same time-- the top issue on the agenda is how to go about creating a Palestinian state.

My suggestion is that a Palestinian state should be created the same way the Palestinian people were. By simply pretending it exists and then doing nothing to prove it. If it worked for manufacturing a Palestinian nationality, why not a state. Why not a planet or a galaxy. No one is using Mars are they? Or Europe. The EU has been generous enough to create a Pakistanian state in London, a Morrocanian state in Paris and a Turkistanian state in Berlin, why not share it with the Palestinians?

"A Palestinian state? Certainly it exists. Somewhere around Tower Hamlets I believe, or is it Foggy Bottom? Maybe Strasbourg Saint-Denis? Take your pick and pick your take. Its borders are currently the North Sea and that street in Berlin with all the Halal shops with dirty windows."

And if that won't do, why not the New York Times building? At a spacious 52 stories and 80,000 square feet, there's room enough for a Palestinian state. And what about the BBC's Broadcasting House, or the Reuters Buildings or the New Yorker headquarters conveniently adjacent to Ground Zero. The media business isn't what it used to be, and it would probably be cheaper for the UNRWA to rent out floors for a Palestinian state in the skyscrapers of media companies.

This solution would give both sides what they want most. The media would be directly in touch with the key suppliers of 90 percent of their international coverage. "No need to send Allan or Laura on a jet to Israel to pick up a quote on Israeli oppression. Just take an elevator downstairs to Hamas HQ and try not to get stoned on the way back." And the Muslim terrorist gangs would get access to skyscrapers made out of glass, and also the aid agencies and media that keep their homicidal cause alive and rolling in money.

So why wait, when creating a Palestinian state is so easy. Raise up the red, black, green and white over the Times Building, sing Fidai at dusk and let the UN ratify the new merger of the New York Times and the Palestinian Authority. The media would be eligible for international aid and Hamas could finally win a much deserved Pulitzer.