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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

President Bush Welcomes Terrorism to the White House



We go live to the White House for this historic event

PRESIDENT BUSH: Thank you. Mr. President, it is my honor to welcome the democratically elected leader of the Palestinian people to the White House.

(It is an honor to disgrace the White House by inviting a top terrorist to the White House, truly another great day in American history)

We meet at a time when a great achievement of history is within reach, the creation of a peaceful, democratic Palestinian state.

(to be followed shortly by the sovereign state of Candyland in which everyone will play in jello fountains and eat twizzlers all day)

President Abbas is seeking that goal by rejecting violence

(and all the PA radio and tv broadcasts praising suicide bombers testify to his rejection of violence)

I believe the Palestinian people are fully capable of justly governing themselves, in peace with their neighbors.

(I believe the moon is made of green cheese, this is a more credible belief since it is more likely that in the last few decades the moon turned to green cheese than that the Palestinian arabs who have always embraced terrorism and continue to embrace terrorism will suddenly stop when promised McDonalds franchises)

President Abbas's election four months ago was a tribute to the power and appeal of democracy

(no it was a tribute to the fact that Abbas got the endorsement of the terrorist group Fatah and that Hamas did not field a candidate)

Palestinians voted against violence, and for sovereignty, because only the defeat of violence will lead to sovereignty.

(this explains Abbas' campaign photos surrounded by armed Fatah gunmen, he was promoting the defeat of the gunmen he was posing with)

Mr. President, the United States and the international community applaud your rejection of terrorism

(speak for yourself and your Saudi friends, Mr President... the United States does no such thing)

Mr. President, you have made a new start on a difficult journey, requiring courage and leadership each day -- and we will take that journey together.

(then we will get married in Vermont and have breakfast in bed....unless Bush is already engaged to the Saudi crown prince he was photographed holding hands with)

Israel must continue to take steps toward a peaceful future, and work with the Palestinian leadership to improve the daily lives of Palestinians, especially their humanitarian situation.

(about the only step Israel could take that would accomplish that would involve killing every terrorist leader beginning with the one next to the President of the Saudi United States)

Israel should not undertake any activity that contravenes road map obligations or prejudice final status negotiations with regard to Gaza, the West Bank and Jerusalem. Therefore, Israel must remove unauthorized outposts and stop settlement expansion.

(sure when Bush stops prejudicing the final status of Texas in its negotiations with Mexico. Its time to stop expansion of the Texas settlements and remove unauthorized towns.... anyone remember when people were still foolish enough to call Bush, Israel's best friend in the white house?)

The barrier being erected by Israel as a part of its security effort must be a security, rather than political, barrier.

(you mean the barrier being put up to keep the homicidal swarms of palestinians out, yes it's a security barrier...just like the fence around the White House)

And its route should take into account, consistent with security needs, its impact on Palestinians not engaged in terrorist activities.

(which Palestinians would those be... imaginary ones?)

Any final status agreement must be reached between the two parties, and changes to the 1949 Armistice lines must be mutually agreed to.

(if we needed a better demonstration that Sharon's claims that America would let him keep anything are so much hot air...it's also appropriate around Yom Ha'Shoah to demand that Israel retreat to the Auschwitz borders)

A viable two-state solution must ensure contiguity of the West Bank, and a state of scattered territories will not work.

(since Bush obviously failed geography, the so-called Palestinian state is on both sides of Israel, if it has contiguity, that contiguity has to cut across Israel)

This is the position of the United States today, it will be the position of the United States at the time of final status negotiations.

(only if you're President by then, instead of delivering speeches in Riyadh or the Commerce Club for 10,000 dollars a pop and writing your memoirs, 'Dude, Where's My Presidency?')

To help ensure that the Gaza disengagement is a success, the United States will provide to the Palestinian Authority $50 million to be used for new housing and infrastructure projects in the Gaza.

(new housing = smuggling tunnels under houses, infrastructure projects = bomb making factories)

These funds will be used to improve the quality of life of the Palestinians living in Gaza, where poverty and unemployment are very high

(the Pallies already get more per capita aid than any other people in the world, yet they're unemployed and poor... gosh you'd almost think that throwing dollars at them doesn't work and the money gets diverted elsewhere)

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous31/5/05

    There are more Jewish responses on this site to frummy woes than to stuff like this.
    Let me tell you people something.. If Israel goes downhill becuz you Frummies sit on your fat keisters and do nothing.. you will deserve every bit of prejudice you get from now on.

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